Is it time to start asking better questions?


For most of us, most of the time, 100% of our energy and focus is on thinking about, talking about and looking at what we see as going on in our lives at the time, and we think that we need to pay attention to for it to resolve itself.  For most of us, most of the time, most of this energy and focus is directed on looking at what we don’t like, what needs improving, what we don’t have or where there we perceive something to be a problem.

This is just the way we are.

Do you really want the experience of your life to change and improve?

The challenge that we have when we are focusing on what we see as our “reality”, and coming at it from a place of lack or fear or worry, is that we are simply feeding more energy into the things that we don’t want to be experiencing.

Our thoughts create our reality and our thoughts determine how we are going to feel.  How often do you find yourself thinking thoughts like (for example, but I’m sure you can add your own to this list…):

“How am I going to pay this bill?”
“I can’t ever seem to get ahead”
“I never have enough money to do what I want to do”
“I can’t afford it”
“I hate my job/boss/spouse/friend”
“I’m sick of being fat/unhealthy/unfit”
“When is this ever going to end?”
“How can things get any worse than this?”
“I don’t know how it is ever going to improve”
“It’s the final straw”
“What did I do to deserve this terrible thing happening to me?”

And how does thinking those thoughts make you feel?

Thinking them only makes us feel worse, compounding the thoughts and feelings of being a victim, being hopeless, being trapped, being stuck, feeling like there is no way out.

It really is no way to live, but for most of us, this is actually how we are living.  This is the way we perceive the experience of our lives, it is the way we think about, talk about and feel about our lives.  And not only do we have these conversations with ourselves – we also have them with other people.  So we are constantly reinforcing the things that we REALLY DON’T WANT.

If you really want things to change and improve, one of the first things that you can do is to start asking better questions and affirming better things, #shiftyourgaze from what you see as your present reality and start directing all of your energy and focus on creating the life experience you truly desire.

It was from Pam Grout, author of the really great book E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality, that I first learned about this idea of asking better questions.  One of the questions that she suggest that we ask is this:

“What marvellous thing can I create today”

Isn’t that wonderful?  It feels so much better and more expansive and open than asking the question that we might have previously asked which may have been something like “How do I know what to do?”.

Dr Gay Hendrichs, author of what was for me another life changing book, The Big Leap taught me a fabulous affirmation, one that cannot be argued with.

“I expand in abundance, success and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same”.

Approaching our lives with this positive attitude, with asking better questions and affirming better things, opens us up, opens up our thinking, opens up our minds, opens up our intuition, opens up our willingness to try new things, inspires us, enhances our creativity and our ability to think outside the box.  Approaching our lives with this kind of attitude, makes us feel better about ourselves and our lives and our present and our future.

It’s not about denying the “reality”, it’s simply about allowing a new “reality” to be realised.

You can literally create a whole new reality, and the only time to start creating that new reality… is now.

(AKA a lesson in faith and belief and trust and hope and never giving up).

Please comment below and let me know how you are going and what this brought up for you – and let me know the better questions you are going to start asking.

Love always,

Fiona xxx

Here is a list of some of my better questions and affirmations.

Feel free to adopt them or use them as inspiration to create your own.  Read these out loud, on a daily basis, refer back to them whenever you feel yourself wobbling.  It’s a great way to shift your thinking and change your emotions, because it is from the place of feeling good that we can create the real change.

  • I love my glorious life
  •  Every day, in every way, my life keeps getting better and better
  • What makes me such a powerful force for great abundance?
  • How can I grow into my true self, the loving, wisest, kindest me?
  • What courageous act might I perform today?
  • What makes me so healthy, so calm, so centred, so focused, so productive, so disciplined?
  • How did I get to be so rich and wealthy, with an abundance of savings?
  • What makes me such a loving mother and such a great role model for my kids?
  • What marvellous opportunities will come my way today?
  • What wonderful doors will open for me today?


Fiona Redding is the founder of The Happiness Hunter, co-host of #BusinessAddicts The Podcast and author of The Happiness Hunter’s Guide to Meditation.

The Happiness Hunter will guide and empower you to change your life with the strategies, tools and mindset shifts required to live an abundant, successful and happy life, free of stress and anxiety.

Our services include life coaching and healing services, workshops, retreats, keynote presentations and corporate wellbeing programs with a focus on life integration instead of work life balance.

The Happiness Hunter also organises free community walks throughout Australia in an effort to increase happiness through human connection, which is supporting by a leadership network.