Micro or macro - judgement is judgement.
How many times have you found yourself with another person and found yourself judging them for being judgemental? Like your judgement of them is ok, but their judgement of another is not?
This is what I like to call micro and macro judging. And when you start to observe yourself in this, it can be really eye opening (and actually quite confronting).
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves".- Carl Jung
You are walking down the street with a friend.
Friend says with a backward glance as someone is walking past "oh my goodness, did you see what she was wearing??" (micro judgement).
You say nothing, but think no, I didn't even notice. (rub shiny halo)
What you did think though was how shallow your friend is, but of course you would never say that to someone else. (macro judgement, rub shiny halo again)
Later on that day, you are talking with another friend about the incident in the morning. And you say "you will not believe what my friend said this morning. She always has an opinion about everything. She is so superficial and so judgemental. I'm nothing like that". (macro judgement justified and amplified).
Judgement is judgement.
One type of judgement is not better than another, however we try and justify ourselves.
Our job is not to judge.
And our job is not to talk about other people behind their backs.
You can watch the video here.
This includes for example, the internal judging of yourself against another person or situation and the external judging of another person against another person or situation.
We never have all the facts and information on anything in this life, as much as we might like to think that we do.
That time and energy can be so much better channeled and focused into seeing the good in ourselves and in other people and in our lives, and to wish each other well, whoever we are, wherever we are at in life, however we are choosing to live our lives.
Anytime you find yourself in a situation where you are making a judgement call on yourself or someone else, ask yourself:
- is this just my opinion, and if so, what makes my opinion correct, right or better?
- is it nice?
- is it kind?
- is it necessary?
- is it contributing anything positive to my life or to those around me?
- how would I feel if this person overheard what I was saying?
- would I still be thinking it or saying it if it was being recorded or videoed?
Our job is to just do the best we can in our own lives and to be as supportive, compassionate and loving to ourselves and to everyone around us - to look for the good in ourselves and each other, and if we can't see any good, then to realise that that says more about us than it does about the other person.
And if we don't like what we are seeing, then it is 100% within our power to change it.
"Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question:
What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?"
– Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.
And if you ever find yourself starting a sentence with the words, "I don't mean to be offensive..." - then refer to the dot points above and ask yourself if you still really want to say it 🙂
Fiona Redding is the founder of The Happiness Hunter, co-host of #BusinessAddicts The Podcast and author of The Happiness Hunter’s Guide to Meditation.
Based on leading research, metaphysical principles and her own real life learnings and experiences, The Happiness Hunter will teach and empower you to change your life with the strategies, tools and mindset shifts required to live an abundant, successful and healthy life, full of passion, joy and meaning, and free of stress and anxiety.
Our services include life coaching and healing services, a 3 month online Bootcamp, workshops, retreats, keynote presentations and corporate wellbeing programs with a focus on life integration instead of work life balance.
The Happiness Hunter also organises free community walks and weekly classes throughout Australia in an effort to increase happiness & wellbeing through human connection, nature and exercise, which is supported by a leadership network.