“I so wanted to finish this race. I so wanted to just finish, but I needed to make a call and not be stupid. I set myself a goal that I haven’t reached, and that’s okay.”
The Happiness Hunter Founder, Fiona Redding, had set a goal for herself to run a half marathon and 3 kilometers in, she stopped running.
Your first thoughts are probably something along the lines of failure, quitting and weak.
When we don’t achieve the goals we set, we often turn to the resentment of oneself for not succeeding. This is because, in our society, we tend to align performance with self-worth.
The thing is, It’s actually not about reaching the goals at all.
In an article on ‘Common Goal Setting’ Lifehacker identifies that “One of the biggest benefits of creating goals is that they force us to focus our time, attention, and energy on a specific objective.” Creating goals can be very motivating and progressive for our career, getting ahead financially, and getting on top of our health. They are also pretty imperative on our journey of personal growth and our pursuit of becoming a better person.
As long as you set goals and you are working toward them and learning, that’s what it is all about, the outcome isn’t the most important part. There is a lot of power in setting goals and being committed, however, the real power is knowing you may not be able to reach the goal in the way you want and being okay with that. If goals aren’t kicked, productive people ask themselves:
What can I learn from this?
What can I do differently next time?
Fiona did not fail to achieve her goal because she didn’t have the determination, persistence or the will and desire to keep running. She consciously decided to stop during the run because she accepted that she was not conditioned for the length of the run with her current injuries. Pushing herself past her limit would have caused further injury to her body, not allowing her to enjoy her active lifestyle, and it wouldn’t have been worth it.
The point of setting goals is to make sure you’re working toward achieving your DREAM, whether you hit the target or not, if you are working toward a life you want, you are succeeding!
There are 5 steps before you even set a goal that will help you realise what’s important and what isn’t the be all and end all when it comes to goal setting.
1. Understand and accept that where you are now, is where you are now.
Accepting reality and being okay with the present, means you then can begin the journey of change from where you are, to where you want to be.
2. Before you set goals, you need to know what you want to change and why you want to do it.
These reasons will be your drivers and they will help you keep up the persistence and determination needed to get ahead or make a change.
3. Define your vision.
Who do you want to be in your life? What do you want for your life? All your goals should align to this vision. The specific goal is not the end point, the goal is a step to get you to the bigger picture, like stepping stones. the goal keeps you focused, as it is easy to go into overwhelm when we are trying to change significant things in our life.
To achieve a goal, you need to become the person that achieved the goal. What is the outcome that you really want?
4. Find and fill the gaps.
Where you are now and where you want to go? Look at the gaps in this plan and decide on your priorities, you can’t change everything right now, so where is the best place to start?
5. Feel connected to your goals, be intentional and create a plan of meaningful, daily action to achieve them.
You have got to be invested and excited to work toward change and your dream life. This will help you become more connected. Remember - where attention goes, energy flows!
The Happiness Hunter is all about helping you navigate life.
The Happiness Hunter has a focus on life integration through a tested framework and provides ongoing support and accountability, as well as help to foster an incredibly supportive community to guide you in sustaining your change. The Happiness Hunter offers life coaching, workshops, and retreats and community walks to help you with one goal: happiness.