If experience is your teacher, what have you learned?
WHAT we experience in our life is the result of our past thoughts, feelings and actions. This is also known as our karma. We cannot escape it: it is a fundamental law of the Universe.
HOW we experience the result of this shows us where we are at right now. This is known as our attitude.
With that in mind, what is this experience of your current present moment showing you about:
- What you have put out in the past?
- How you are thinking and feeling today?
And, most importantly, based on what you are experiencing and how you are thinking and feeling today:
- What actions you are taking today to create a different experience for your future present moments?
Our current experience is created from the past. Our present moment is creating our future experience. Other than learning to see it in a different light, we cannot change what has happened in the past, but we can create a different outcome for our future. Because, regardless of what is going on in in our experience, we always, always have control over our attitude.
Over the last few months, we have all been under the spotlight in our own ways.
Some of us have been challenged to our very core and had to face some confronting truths about ourselves and our lives, through what we are experiencing, and how we are facing it.
And if this is you, if you are one of the ones who the gift of Corona has flushed out, feeling like there is really nowhere left to hide - then I am speaking to you right now.
At The Happiness Hunter, one of the core tenets we teach is this – where I am now, is where I am now, and where I am now is perfect. We are not here to judge where we are at, but to simply accept it – unconditionally; to be grateful – endlessly grateful; and to forgive – to relentlessly forgive. To learn how to see and experience things differently, and to use the experience to propel us forward.
My life over the last 7 years has been a work in progress, living testimony of this philosophy. So I’m standing right here with you when I say to you that you’ve been outed, and if you let it be, this can be the best thing that has ever happened for you.
Because without our weaknesses being exposed and highlighted, then we cannot see them. And we would not now be in the position to really have to create the change that is required to be showing up in life and experiencing it as we would really like to be. And without this, we do not get to know the strength and power that lives within us and to learn what we are truly capable of.
So the question is – how can what you are seeing as a negative experience, be negative, if it is showing you what you need to work on to be a better person and to live a better life? Doesn’t that make it a good thing? And when we can see things from a positive perspective – then we get to see things in a completely different way.
Because you know what? We cannot hide from ourselves and the experience we are creating. This is living in delusion and illusion. And also, it is living with no appreciation, which is an incredibly unhappy way to live, which is also living in delusion and illusion.
Areas of our lives that were already on rocky ground, but that we were managing to keep under wraps – our unhappiness, fractured relationships, alcohol abuse, financial vulnerability, dissatisfaction with work, our parenting, our mental and emotional states, feelings of disconnection and isolation, how we treated ourselves – have been thrown right into the glaring light of day.
So if you are one of the ones who has become aware that who you are and how you are living your life is not as you want it to be (even though you might not believe me right at this exact moment in time) I am here to tell you that you are one of the lucky ones.
If this experience has highlighted your weaknesses, through what you are experiencing and how you are dealing with it - then you are now in the strongest position of your life (if you let yourself be) to learn a new and better way of being.
If you are feeling stressed, exposed, vulnerable, angry, overwhelmed, hopeless and a little bit scared about what is coming next, or looking for someone to blame based on what you are experiencing right now, you have two choices:
- Do nothing
- Use this as the wake up call you have needed to finally learn how to live life differently
Right now, on a scale of 1-10 - how are you feeling about your life?
What has this experience shown you about who you are and where you are in life?
What has it shown you about your attitude and about how you deal with life?
Your coping mechanisms?
What has it shown you about what you want to change?
As things are slowly starting to return to a small semblance of what life was like pre lockdown, as we slowly emerge from this life that was nothing like we have experienced before in our lives, how has it changed you?
What do you want this new world to look like for you?
What are the weaknesses that have been highlighted for you?
What has it shown you about your strengths?
It is a rare gift to be so completely exposed.
It takes courage to face up to our weaknesses, to admit to our shortcomings, and it takes grit and determination to change.
We all have the ability within us to change, and the opportunity for change exists until we take our last breath. It is never too late.
But the reality is, if we do not like what we are experiencing right now, and we are not dealing with the situation well – then nothing will change for us moving forward.
But if we do have the guts to admit that things need to change, then the power of the entire Universe will be supporting our decision and will rise up to meet us in the most extraordinary and miraculous of ways.
And then we will be able to use what we are experiencing as a measure to show us our progress, how far we have come, and what we still need to work on. But it will be with joy and hope and excitement and with tremendous gratitude and awe for the process. Fear is vanquished.
When we can learn to see the positive in anything, to bold the vision and trust the process, and to know that when we are earnestly striving for change, when we get clear on who we want to be and how we want to be living, then the whole experience of our life can change… and we get to bring others along for the ride.
I want to share with you how I know that this is possible. And if it was possible for me, then it is possible for you too.
One day in 2013, I woke up. I was at home with two tiny kids, drinking everyday, overweight, unfit and unhealthy. My partner and I were having a lot of problems, we had a lot issues with our finances, and I was unable to get to work. I felt deeply disconnected and very, very alone. I saw myself staring down the barrel of a future life that I just could not imagine living.
I woke up with one burning question that I could no longer escape:
“How has this become my life?”
I was so deeply unhappy, and I just knew that something needed to change.
Somehow I knew that it was time to look inside of myself to find out how I had gotten here. That I was where I was because of ME. And I was experiencing life as I was, because of ME. There was no-one or nothing that I could point the finger at and blame.
And if you are reading this, then maybe you are starting to understand this too.
If I wanted my life to change, then I had to own it, to take responsibility for where I was, and if I wanted things to change, then it was me that had to change.
I decided to focus on one thing: happiness. I just wanted happiness for my life.
The seed of The Happiness Hunter was planted. I started my own coaching, consulting & speaking business (which was to become The Happiness Hunter), started meditating, stopped drinking, started walking every day and left what had become for both my partner and I, a very unhappy relationship.
At 37, I found myself an unemployed single parent, with no money, no savings and no assets, without a home, trying to build a business, and learning to live life without alcohol – after a lifetime of dependency that had culminated in a serious, daily drinking problem.
But rather than see this as the end of the road – I decided to see it as a fresh start. I started thinking of myself as one of the luckiest people who had ever walked the face of the earth, to see the gift that this experience was giving me.
I set a grand vision for my life.
I became crystal clear on the person I wanted to be, how I wanted to be living and the direction I wanted my life to take.
Over the last few years, I have worked on every single aspect of myself, and will leave no stone unturned until I realise my potential.
I have lost over 20 kilos (with no dieting) and am now the fittest and healthiest I have ever been.
I have worked relentlessly on my money mindset and am now in a position where I do not have to spend money as soon as it hits my bank account and I can save. This is a miracle.
I have overcome imposter syndrome and every other limit that my belief system has thrown at me as I build my business.
Dysfunctional relationships within my family are healed.
I am part of a community that works together for a common goal, after years of feeling like the lone wolf and that I was on my own in this world.
I have a cherished spiritual connection that I never knew was possible, and which brings me increasing peace, joy and fulfillment.
I do meaningful work that is of great service, and I know who I serve.
Today, I am currently living with my ex, his wife and their baby daughter – plus our two kids – as we ride out corona as a family. Seven years ago I hated him so much, I wanted to kill him. I am not joking when I say that. But as I came to understand – how I felt about him was only telling me something about how I felt about me. When I left him, I decided what sort of relationship I wanted to have with him, and who I needed to be, how I needed to think, and speak, and behave for that relationship to materialise. I never expected him to change. I visualised us being able to sit together at the same table at our kids wedding with our respective partners, and to have a nice time. When corona hit, they asked me if I would like to move in with them while this situation was happening. And as it turned out, this was a really smart idea, and it is working better than any of us could have ever hoped.
So what this experience is showing me, while I was exposed in some aspects financially through corona, it also showed me just how far I have come as well in terms of digging myself out of a financial hole and also in the things that really matter – how I feel about myself and in having loving, kind and compassionate relationships with other people. To allow people to help and support me, because they care, and to feel like I am worthy of that love and support, and to graciously and humbly receive it - knowing that I would do the exact same if the situation was reversed. I am now in a much stronger position financially than I have been in my entire life, let alone over the over the last 7 years – with no debt, savings in the bank and a business that is ideally placed to help people to navigate and overcome the weaknesses being highlighted through this time. It has shown me what is really important – that while the material things are important, without the inner riches, then the external things are meaningless. Real success is defined by how we are as a person, and how we show up in our lives - not through what we have. As we all have seen - those external measures of success can disappear in the blink of a corona eye.
When we are rich within ourselves, we are rich everywhere else too, because that is how we see and experience the world - regardless of what is going on outside.
I am now in a position to really set myself up financially. And this situation is being provided to me by the person that in another time and place, I would have blamed for putting me in the situation in the first place. I’m now living with a person who it felt like was once my worst enemy, but who is now a great friend, as well as being the father of my children. This experience is showing me how far I have come with something that I could never have imagined would ever be this good. So from that perspective – for me, while initially corona highlighted where I was most weakest and vulnerable (with my finances) I am now choosing to allow my weakness to become my greatest strength. And the more I think like that, the better I am going to feel, and the more positive karma I am creating for my future self, in every aspect of my life, including financially.
If this is the only thing that you take from this essay, then please take this. Anything can be changed. Anything. When we choose to work on our inner self and to see the best in ourselves, in other people and in situations, then the outer world will reflect that back to us in the most incredible and beautiful of ways.
Essentially, it boils down to this: if you can learn how to change your mind about things, then you can literally change your life.
1:1 Coaching and Mentoring
For the last 7 years I have been working with women (and a few good men) in their 40's and 50's, who are experiencing some challenges in life, and starting to wonder if this is it (it's not, by the way). Using the proven Happiness Hunter Framework and Seven Elements Framework for Life Integration and with the support of our amazing community, you will get clear on what a successful life looks like for you, understand what is holding you back and will be supported you every step of the way through the (sometimes scary, but always positive) process of change.
If you are ready to take the next step, I'd love to work with you. You can book in for a no-obligation Discovery Call here.
Mindset coach & consultant
My mission in life is to share everything I have learned – and am continuing to learn – about turning my own life around and to really help you understand that happiness is to be found in the overcoming of obstacles and challenges in your life, and not in the absence of them.
To achieve your potential in life, you need to become your potential. And for that to be, you need to understand yourself, and learn how to harness your strengths and overcome your weaknesses.
You have the power within you to create whatever reality you choose, and I am here to help you know that if you don’t like what you are experiencing, then you can absolutely change that.
But you do have to choose, believe, and be open to all possibilities, and to keep showing up every day, even when it feels really hard.
Because if you do what is easy, your life will be hard. But if you do what is hard, your life will be easy.